i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Randomize
