i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
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i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
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The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
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