I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize