Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
Apparently you make a good broom.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
