he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
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Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
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this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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