we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
P.S. I can't hear my feet
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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