Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
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im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
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His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.