Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Khloé Kardashian Finally Speaks Out About The Tristan Thompson Cheating Scandal
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
15 Porn Memes You’re Only Allowed To Laugh At If You’re Over 18
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?