No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
