She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
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Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
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