Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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