how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
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