Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
