Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
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