did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
He had one of those small greek statue penises
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
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