My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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