I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
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