He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Randomize
