That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
