question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
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