Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
