I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
