so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
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