tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
10 Things Your Gyno Wants You To Stop Doing To Your Vagina
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
For Some Reason, Boys Are Singing The ‘Halo’ Theme Song In School Bathrooms
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey