just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
Having a random hookup so left but love u
My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.