I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
He shit in the fireplace
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize