This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
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