just survived the first fart of the relationship.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize