he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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