did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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