I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
