Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
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by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
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