peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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