My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
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