if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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