My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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