If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
then he tried to convert me to islam
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Randomize
