If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
I touched a dick in church today
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
