Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
I want to fling myself into the sun