i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.