I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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