Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Holy shit dude........stairs
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