story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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