I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
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I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
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