he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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