My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
