i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Randomize