adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
