How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
17 Women That Lost Condoms Up Their Lady Parts
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
23 People Confess The Most F*cked Up Thing Guests Have Done In Their House
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.