Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat