No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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