i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
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