this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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