You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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